:'(

Ive alaways said to myself tht ive regreted of not telling gareth my feeings b4 sophie kirk did, but when i wrote him a love letter telling him all the feelings i never had the courage o say to him, he recorded on luke's phone "i really dont want to go out with her!" even if i did tell him my feelings, he doesnt care...it means nuthing to him.....
i kepy saying to myself, stop luving gareth, hes not worth it, but i cant, no matter how hard i try, i juz cant! whenever i close my eyes, i see his image and hear his voice echoing"i really dont want to go out wiv her! i really dont want to go out wiv her" and so on and so on.......
the best thing i can do is fake smile all the time, to the customers tht come to my shop, to my parents, in front of  my frens and especially in front of gareth....
after the love letter thing, he started to avoid me, to make him happy again, and to make me forget him, ive decided to force myself to luv boys tht r nice to me and juz as them out, but i wan 2 do tht after my bday, cuz ive always been seeking 4 a special boy, the first one  to be wiv me for my bday, i thought gareth would b the suiable one, but he doesnt like me the same way i "like" him......

heartbroken yet again...

Finally, I had the courage to ask him out on monday lunch time, but then he pretend he didn't hear me and went off. and then the next day, today, luke told me gareth asked him if i was joking or not, and luke said i wasnt (well, thts what he told me anyway), and gareth said he'll think about it...but then he said no, not really to luke in the morning. At lunch, yet again I asked him out, and yet again he avoided the question. So after school, i asked him out again, and he said we're friends. we're friends. and then he said, y r u so fond of me? so i told me, u cant calculate love.
cuz u cant, love comes and goes, u cant control it....
but the worst thing of all is tht b4 i asked him out, i saw marcia, claudia's sister asking him 4 a hug, n they hugged. I never asked him 4 a hug, and he never hugged me, everytime i see him hugging a girl, not his sister of course, my heart hurts....really hurt. I gave up on him b4,  n then luved him again, gave up, luv again. i wan to give up now, but i dun in a way, should i give  up or not?

gonna hav the courage

On monday, i am going to hav all my courage and ask him out! if he says no or ignores me, ill say its a joke!   

which path to choose

theres this boy tht i fancied since the first time i saw him, but bcuz i didnt hav the courage to tell him how i felt at first, someone else took the chance and they went out, i was really sad then, but i kept my fellings to myself... i still luved him even when he went out wiv tht girl, but in my point of view, even if u cant b wiv the one u luv, as long as u c tht they r happy, ur happy 2...n then someone was really nice to me later on n a sudden luv juz came n i went out wiv him, but then i realised tht actually, i dun luv him tht much, i still luv the first boy...his girlfren cheated on him n they broke up, he was really sad then, n seeing him being tht sad but i was unable to help him, i was upset 2...i still luv him all this time n i broke up wiv my recent boyfren bcuz in my heart, there's still his existance, it seems tht he never left my heart, n never will....but apparently he fancies someone else, but who it is, i do not know....should i move on n juz find a better boy, or believe in miracle, tht if u keep waiting, one day, we will b 2gether? i dun hav the courage to ask him out anymore due to his rejection b4 n rumors tht he fancies some1 else...what should i do? which path should i choose?

boys tht i like

the type of boys tht i like in real life r those tht will actually  fell upset or cry after they break up wiv someone tht they really luv, bcuz tht shows how much they care about the relationship n tht will b a really gd typr of boyfren...